by LA Felleman
to be mammal is to be teeth in flesh
dependent on other lives to survive
everyday plowing another field under
with identical seeds scythed short,
cropped close to grain’s home ground,
harvested with a sigh to survive
the apologies Grass Nation
you were meant to be seeding
your own evolving instead
you are ground for us to rise
rueful remorse
we promise to eat you, advisedly
mindful that to be mammal is
to survive by othering lives
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green things othered,
raising up mammals to depend
scent of what you grew in
sigh of how you could have grown
spring of successive unfurling
large to the point of firming
green things enfleshed
then passing on to mush—
points we dare to deny you—
stunting your growth to fuel ours.
mammals survive by springing
sorrow so sorry
we pledge to eat you, regrettably
expanding into our girth
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expand in/through red branching
flavor of flowers that birthed you
borne at the end of your branches
carrying inside you a forest
prevented from touching down
deepest despair
flesh in clenched teeth of mammals
sorry for teeming health taken
plucked like a gift meant for Abel
torn open by an envious Cain
we expose how grabbing marks us
take an oath, we will eat you in mindfulness
marked as mammals torn
we can never be too much
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there can never be too much praising
cheer of orange-yellow kin
your color is a smile throughout
your smell is a sweetness within
mammals need
orange-yellow family sensing
in mammals teeth
the sweetest desiring
your rind, your sections so easily rent
resigned to pulling you piecemeal
like a gin preparing cotton for spinning
our favored method became dissecting
continual contrition
we cross our hearts, hope to die to eat you
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hope to die dissection became us
purple-blue alien strangers
otherworldly out of our ordinary
we press to learn secrets
contained behind your skin
mammals teething purple-blue
strange selectively skinned
life extended beyond natural
we truth to tell to eat you
let us speak the truth into you
we only tolerate differences
othered for survival
steepest shame
when novels tantalize
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we solely tolerate the tantalizing
white-brown family
you who converse in earth tones
metallic mineral mud notes
teeth mammals marked
repetitive resignation
forgive these transgressions
we own we survive by
: shaking you down
: cracking your shells
: breaking your halves
: scraping you void
: leaving you husks
we hand to God to eat you
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by our hands, left halved, hunks
our own meat kind
strength of our strength
blood in our blood
mammals stalking
always apologizing
we acknowledge our plans
to prepare to our liking
: mammals enflesh the horror
recipe to slice
reduced to bite size
numb to your pain to be
dismembered from ours
we swear to God to eat you
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swearing before our maker
designer of all we can
sorry such sorrow
stomach
created to be sacrificers
eaters of the unnumbered
survivors of others
of the same creator
taught to mouth guilt as
: teeth contemptible
a litany of contents
to the One contemplating
every hue we consume
still pardoning the unconvertable
Currently, LA is a financial analyst at the University of Iowa. Before that, she was a seminary professor. Prior to that, she was a pastor. She credits the Free Generative Writing Workshops, the Midwest Writing Center, and workshops offered through Iowa City Poetry with her growth as a poet. To give back to the writing community, she organizes a writers open mic at the public library (or via Zoom during pandemics) and serves on the advisory council of Iowa City Poetry. She is the author of the chapbook, The Length of a Clenched Fist, from Finishing Line Press, and blogs at http://lafelleman.blogspot.com.
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